deadfeline:

kingcheddarxvii:

My parents are asleep quick reblog this post with skeletons saying bad words

image

(via alaskanbullw0rmm)

buckoftheirish:

tumbledore-:

gohomemccall:

my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop

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he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

Marry him.

did
did you read the post

(Source: nbhcannibal, via isabellathestrange)

actuates:

HOW TO PLAY SOCCER IN GYM CLASS:
1. Get the ball
2. Pass it to someone who actually knows how to play
3. Run.

(via yourmomsabortion)

fukkkres:

white mom: quit roughhousing!

white son: fuck u mom

white mom: oh heavens! thomas are you going to let your son talk to his mother like that?

white dad: go to your room billy right this minute!

white son: fuck u both *goes to room and jacks off and smokes weed out of mountain dew can*

(via jasmineloren)

So my interview went well but now my current boss is telling me I definitely have the promotion. The liquor store said they definitely want to hire me. Ugh.

thisblogisnotgovernmentapproved:

"Lmaooo… She left her Facebook open so I hacked into it!!! <3 Love Ya girliee xoxo (:"

image

(via jasmineloren)

vagiants:

Charlie XLVIIILeviticus the 14th kind of looks like she smells bad tbh

(via jasmineloren)